Recognizing online predators
Predators build trust with a young person before attempting harm. The pattern is recognizable — and the single most protective move is always the simplest: tell a trusted adult.
How it works
A predator often poses as someone close in age, offers a lot of attention and flattery, and tries to move the conversation to a private app where messages disappear. Trust is built slowly, then tested.
The clearest warning sign is a push for secrecy. "Don't tell your parents" or "this is just between us" from someone online is itself the red flag — regardless of how kind or familiar they seem.
Common forms
Red flags
Spot it in the wild
Nothing here is explicit, and that's the point — this is the trust-building stage. The flattery, the push to a private app, and the request for secrecy are the pattern. Any adult asking a young person to keep a relationship hidden is the signal to stop and tell a trusted adult.
What to do instead
The right response
Stop the conversation and tell a trusted adult — a parent, teacher, or another adult you trust. Keep the messages if you can. A request for secrecy from someone online is always a reason to talk to someone offline.
What to do right now
- 1Stop replying, and don't delete the messages — they can help.
- 2Tell a trusted adult right away: a parent, teacher, or another adult you trust.
- 3Block the contact on the platform.
- 4Report the account to the platform and to the CyberTipline at 1-800-843-5678 or report.cybertip.org.
- 5Nothing that happened is the young person's fault — asking for help is always the right move.
Test your judgment
See if you can spot scams like this one in our quiz.